This bed hasn't been neatly made since this photo was taken in 2010.
I wasn't thinking at the moment I shared the picture, but I needed to remind myself of what my body has been through.
Yesterday I attempted to shop for a bathing suit for our upcoming getaway to Vegas. I probably don't seem like the Vegas type, but I love it out there. My husband and I go every two years with another couple and we live it up for three nights. I enjoy the gambling, the shows, the food, the pools, the dancing- I always have a great time (maybe a few times that were too great. But that's another story...)
I also (usually) love shopping for clothes to wear on this trip because I get to dress up since we go all out. This year however, I'm struggling a bit as nothing seems to quite work for me. I bought five bathing suits so far and tried them on at home (trying on swimwear in a small dressing room with breastfeed infant does not work- one glimpse and he demands the goods). Five bathing suits are in a bag by the door waiting to be returned.
I looked at myself in the mirror as I was trying them on and all I could think of was my former body. The one that didn't go through hell to have children. The one that begged and prayed to God to please give me the chance to be a mother. The one that didn't endure two difficult "full term" pregnancies. The one that would probably punch present-day-me in the face if she knew I would be sad about my semi-soft middle and a handful of stretch marks.
So here is my belly. Beautiful, round and full of love. It's a little deflated now, but that love is now living outside of body in the form of two amazing children and they were totally worth it.
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