Day 68

     Today is the first day in weeks that I did not wake up feeling hungover. The morning sickness may be passing, but that doesn't mean everything is perfect!

I am cautiously optimistic that this might be the dawn of a new phase. 

     The bags under my eyes probably tell you that last night was rough one. For a variety of reasons I had a terrible time falling asleep and once I had started to doze off, Lucas came into our room. He had a bad dream and refused to tell me what it was about. This is the first time he's ever verbalized having a bad dream and my heart broke! I took him back to bed and laid down with him. All I wanted was to hold him and take away his pain. Whatever it was, he felt so terrible and I couldn't fix it.
   
     We talked about things that made him happy- his family, playing with Legos, daddy making breakfast. His sweet innocence kills me. I wanted to stop time and capture this moment forever, because I know these days will pass quicker than I'd like them to.

     I've been dealing with this pregnancy and the difficulty of parenting two young children by saying "this is a phase, it will pass". I have been so focused on getting through this that I am missing the everyday beauty with my family.
     This is a phase, and it will pass, and I need to be present. I should experience the lows as well as the highs and appreciate all that my family is at this moment in time, not just what it will be in the future.