Celebrating American heritage in an America I don't recognize.
I've been quiet for some time now. Always thinking, but not sure how give voice to the place I'm at. I've tried to transfer my frustration into writing, but I don't feel any better- and I won't change any minds. In fact, the postpartum depression that I've been battling feels amplified knowing that there is a large portion of the population that I simply don't understand. I cannot comprehend the hatred and I wonder what kind of world lies before us. I'm truly concerned for my friends and family.
In times like this, and in such a negative head space, finding something to be thankful for can seem like a monumental task. Even though I am blessed with an amazing family, I fear the world they are growing up in. The already present anxiety has multiplied with each news story. I, like many, have been struggling.
On Tuesday during choir rehearsal with Princeton Pro Musica, our conductor Ryan talked to us about giving thanks for the people who brought him music. He spoke about how there are people in the world who were never given that gift, who cannot find solace in beautiful music. It was a moment of clarity for me.
My very first concert.
This year, I'm thankful for those that brought music into my life. From my grandfather playing "Beautiful Doll" on the organ while I sang, to Mr. Ketterer who introduced me to chorus, the French horn and "Danse Macabre". Ginny Kraft who believed in an awkward freshman and gave her amazing performance opportunities. Rich, whose musical influence is too much and too personal to retell here. And my amazing college friends who shaped my life in ways I never anticipated. Or Dr. Gardner who instilled a work ethic toward musical excellence that I was too young and stupid to appreciate at the time. Dr. Reeves for supporting and treating me like family during a time I was truly lost. My "work husband" Keith, who makes me a better musician and teacher everyday. And today, Ryan and PPM for reminding me that I am a musician. Music is in my soul. I'm truly lucky.
Music has brought me life during times I struggled to find the positive. I'm so thankful to everyone who has contributed and nurtured this aspect of myself. Happy Thanksgiving, and may you enjoy all that you are thankful for as well.
