Here's a picture of me documenting our hospital stay on Monday.
I love this kid so much
So my second born has had a rough few weeks medically. We found out he contracted Lyme disease about six weeks ago. Although he's been treated with the standard three week course of antibiotics, any parent who has experienced this will agree, we have been rocked by the diagnoses. Symptoms vary and can last from a few weeks to six or more months. There could be long term effects, but we will just have to wait and see. Many recover completely and we are hopeful that we will be in that category. In the meantime, any fever, aches, pains, swelling, mood swings and illnesses send me into a panic.
On Monday we awoke to a vomiting and lethargic child who couldn't string together a sentence in response to my questions. To the ER we went to find that our little guy was quite ill and very dehydrated. Due to the Lyme disease, there was some concern that we may be looking at meningitis, although that was unlikely. We were kept in the ER for testing and then transferred to pediatrics. He was so brave through the blood work, X-rays, IV placement, and general poking and prodding during examinations. We sang songs, read books, played with cards, built stuff with legos, raced matchbox cars, made up stories, and snuggled a lot. It was the most one on one time we had shared together in years, and although it was scary, it was also a very special experience.
During the night time, he insisted that I sleep in the hospital bed with him. Also, he snores like an old man. I couldn't sleep, so I spent some time scrolling through Facebook and Twitter. I came across a few postings and discussions about technology and children. There are the standard "Dear Mom" ones, where someone addresses a random mother to either encourage or chide her for parenting choices. There are also the various Today Show posts about mom shaming and the like. I didn't sleep much that night- mostly because of the snoring, but also because of some intense reflection on parenting.
The following morning found my little guy much improved, although completely wiped out. Further blood tests suggested this was a nasty virus and unrelated to Lyme disease. Relieved, I put on Disney Jr. to entertain Ben and sat down to send some follow up texts and emails. One of the hospital chaplains knocked on the door and I sprung up, tossing my phone aside and quickly went into defense about why the TV was on and why I was using the phone. I didn't want him walking out of the room thinking he needed to pray for Ben and his negligent mother. I also didn't want him going home to write a "Dear Terrible Mom in the hospital who was ignoring her child" posting.
I wanted him to know I had spent the past 30+ hours with a very sick kid and was at the end of the my rope. I wanted him to know I had two other kids at home who my husband and I were arranging care for. I wanted him to know that I try so hard 24/7, but there are moments that I just need to stop.
So many of these posting and articles claim that they are not shaming or judging, but the truth is they are. If you would not say the words that you post online to another person, why type them out? Both the good and the bad. If you don't tell a random parent you encounter that they are doing a great job despite being in the thick of it, why write an anonymous positing doing so? Open your mouth and say something- it would make their day! If you wouldn't approach that same random parent if they handed their child an iPad, don't go on Facebook to complain about how parents these days rely on technology to raise their children. Offer some time to help a family you know- I don't know anyone who couldn't use a little more support.
None of us are our best selves all of the time. In a 24 hour day, I'm probably a pretty good person for a solid 3 hours. I might have half an hour when I'm a superstar. The rest of the time, I'm either struggling to get by or trying to sleep. I'm tired of the click bait out there that reminds me there are others who think I'm an awful parent. From now on, I focus on the opinions that matter- those of my husband and three kids.
Ben thinks selfies in a hospital bed that move up and down are pretty amazing, and so do I!
