Drinks on the patio before we demolish it to make space for bed rooms and bigger family room.
Recently as we've been navigating the trials and tribulations of three children, home ownership, and careers, I've begun to feel like this is way too much responsibility. Are we really in charge of three children, all of whom have very different personalities and very specific needs? Are we really adding on to the home we bought as a family of three because we've outgrown it in just 4.5 years? Am I really returning to work outside of the home?
Obviously, the answer to all of these questions is "YES".
There are more days than I'm comfortable admitting, when I feel like I'm just not supposed to be at this point in my life. Is this the oncoming of a midlife crisis? Maybe just the anxiety over the end of my "childbearing/maternity-leave years"? I'm so far into the role that I've developed for myself over the past decade- and it's not that I want to walk away from it- but it's freaking scary!
Ten years ago, when I was a newlywed, the future seemed so full of possibilities. Many of them have been realized, but some never will. For example, career goals I felt so strongly about will not happen because the realities of motherhood have changed my priorities- whether I like it or not.
But we adapt. That's something I love so much about Jim. We don't go out that much anymore (we should have done more when we were younger). But every Saturday he makes us some cocktails, we order take out, and have a date night in. And as we close in on ten years of marriage in our fourteen year relationship, I'm so grateful to have him through the highs and lows of growing up.
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