Mother's Little Helper
The Rolling Stones
What a drag it is getting old
"Kids are different today"
I hear ev'ry mother say
Mother needs something today to calm her down
And though she's not really ill
There's a little yellow pill
She goes running for the shelter of a mother's little helper
And it helps her on her way, gets her through her busy day
"Things are different today"
I hear ev'ry mother say
Cooking fresh food for a husband's just a drag
So she buys an instant cake and she burns her frozen steak
And goes running for the shelter of a mother's little helper
And two help her on her way, get her through her busy day
Doctor please, some more of these
Outside the door, she took four more
What a drag it is getting old
"Men just aren't the same today"
I hear ev'ry mother say
They just don't appreciate that you get tired
They're so hard to satisfy, You can tranquilize your mind
So go running for the shelter of a mother's little helper
And four help you through the night, help to minimize your plight
Doctor please, some more of these
Outside the door, she took four more
What a drag it is getting old
"Life's just much too hard today"
I hear ev'ry mother say
The pursuit of happiness just seems a bore
And if you take more of those, you will get an overdose
No more running for the shelter of a mother's little helper
They just helped you on your way, through your busy dying day
Songwriters: Keith Richards / Mick Jagger
Mother's Little Helper lyrics © Abkco Music, Inc
I think my version would be called "Mother's Life Savers"
The other day I went to Target to get my prescriptions with the two older children. One took the shopping cart and ran down a display of cough drops, while the other ran down the aisles, oblivious to what was happening around him. Usually I go solo to pick up my medications, but this time I needed to bring the kids. I always chat with the pharmacist about my children, but this day they were there, live and in person and putting on a show. I was embarrassed. They were making a scene. I said to her "Now you know why I'm on all these medications!" She got a kick out of me and quietly said to her co-worker, "I'll tell you later." I instead chose to announce to the other customers gathered around that my meds were for depression, anxiety, and birth control.
Why can't I shut my mouth?
I wonder sometimes why I am so open with my struggles. Is it that I want to let other people know they aren't alone? Or am I trying to "out" myself before someone else can- like, if I make fun of myself first, it won't hurt when someone else does. I was always big on self deprecating humor, but recently I've gone towards over sharing as my defense mechanism.
In the past two months, three new medications have been introduced. I'd been resistant to two of them for quite a while, but the truth is, I'm not my best self right now. In the past, more exercise, better sleep, and social time with friends could improve my mood. Now, it feels like nothing can get me out of the dark. I left my job to be the best mom I could be to these kids- what is the point if I'm incapacitated by my depression and anxiety. Most importantly, how can I help the child who is battling the same condition I am, if I cannot help myself.
It's been two days with the new plan in place. This isn't a quick fix, and I've been working toward this with my doctors. There is a lot I need to sort through, not only for my children, but for myself. I'm fortunate to be alive in a time when mental health is taken seriously. I'm incredibly lucky to have access to health insurance and physicians who care for my well being and are not just looking to numb the pain. I want to enjoy this time in my life because while "things are different today", I think that's actually a positive.
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