After last night I resolved to get a picture that did not involve one of my children. Today I visited rehearsal for the musical my district is putting on, so we could do some planning for the makeup and hair. My lovely assistant, Samantha, took this photo for me (while also holding Ben- what talent!)
This is my "work husband". My actual husband probably doesn't love this term, but I'll use it none-the-less!
The best part of this photo is that I have an almost identical picture from my wedding!
Our friendship is something I treasure so much and to see how we still banter and make each other laugh after 10 years is incredibly heartwarming! How many people are so lucky to do what they love for a living and with one of their closest friends? I am thankful everyday for the opportunity to work with someone who brings out the best in me both professionally and personally.
While my face is absolutely lit up as I talk to Keith, I've got to confess that I'm totally criticizing myself as I look at this picture. And I know I need to give myself a break. The truth is, this is the first time in a while that I've seen myself from afar. It's hard to look at and I know I shouldn't be, but I'm frustrated with myself because I am 8 months past giving birth. I am going to the gym. I have given up dairy. Why can't I get back to my previous level of fitness? I don't want to make excuses like nursing being a priority or I'm just getting older. I was able to do it last time, I should be able to this time.
It's really uncomfortable for me to see this. But that's what these 40 days are about, right? I've got to find the beauty here. Maybe the beauty is in being honest with my feelings about appearances and insecurities. I've had them all my life. I need to own up to them in order to move past them. So here it is- I'm incredibly insecure about myself and I'm going to use these remaining 26 days to work on getting over these destructive feelings.
Wow, it only took me two weeks to get to the heart of the matter...
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