Day 8

     Daylight Savings was on Sunday and I am still adjusting. Obviously I've had a lot on my mind but I have been wide awake until 1:00 am every night. I think part of the issue may be that we are working on sleep training Ben and I am incredibly anxious. I keep waiting for him to wake up screaming at any moment, so I cannot relax. He does stay asleep for a while and has woken up around 3:00 am most nights, but I still need to feed him because he's on the small side. So that gives me 2 hours of sleep before I'm up. And since I'm so tired, I usually have my husband bring me Ben so I can nurse him in bed. Anyone who has done that knows it may be easier to lay in bed, but you don't gain any quality sleep. Needless to say, I'm not the most stable person right now.
     When I start to miss out on sleep and get anxious like this, I also tend to stress out about the things I am not accomplishing. Today I had plans of doing some laundry, cleaning up my bedroom, and going to a play date & the gym. I also hoped to get in a nap since Ben and I spent most of the night awake.
     As you may have guessed, most of these things did not happen.

     But as you may not have guessed, I didn't meltdown over it! I went to the play date even though I was about two hours late. Luckily I've made some amazing mommy friends who completely appreciate what each other are going through, even if we are all very different from one another. I showed up, ate a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, fed Ben, chatted while the kids rolled around and left an hour later. That hour was so important. I could have stayed home and been annoyed that yet again I had to cancel, but instead I got my butt in the car and went.
     Speaking of my butt, I haven't been to the gym this week. I'm giving myself a pass and will resume again tomorrow. However, I decided I was still going to get in a "workout". Baby lifting, squatting with a baby, planks over a child- who knew all the exercises you could create by just adding a baby or toddler. And of course the nightly dance party, too. Was this as satisfying as a 5 mile run? No. Am I chiding myself for my poor form in the above picture? Sort of. But, I tried.
     And some days that's all I can do. My best today might be nothing compared to my best tomorrow. Or tomorrow could turn out to be even more difficult. I don't know. What I do know is that I held that plank for almost 2 minutes and Ben giggled most of the time.
     I'm showing my boys that I value myself by making time to do the things I need- connecting with others and taking care of my health. Laundry and cleaning the bathroom? That's another story...