Day 18

     Lucas loves to take selfies. We will name this one "The calm before the storm".

They are both plotting my demise.

     Tonight my kids put on a clinic. There was puking, screaming, crying, singing, shouting, new imaginary friends, explosive diapers. Really, this was one for the record books.
I tried my best for the first hour and a half of the 2+ hour attempt at getting the kids to bed, but I finally lost my cool. It was when Lucas and Carrot (his large stuffed carrot) couldn't get comfortable on the floor in Ben's room while I was trying to put him down. Apparently Carrot was really upset and I made him so very very sad. That was it. I screamed to Lucas that he needed to "knock it off" and told him to go to his room to cool off. Within minutes Thomas and Friends were yelling "knock it off" at each other and I realized I was beat.
     As adults, we have plans. As children, they ignore them. When you're a kid in a bathtub filled with bubbles and your mom is paying attention to your little brother, why wouldn't you splash as much water out of the tub as possible? When your mom isn't sticking to your normal bedtime routine, why wouldn't you put on a dramatic display with your stuffed vegetables? It's not that I didn't try, I just couldn't do it alone.
     I have trouble admitting that I need help. I like to take care of myself and the things around me without asking for assistance. It's a bad trait of mine that I hope the kids don't pick up. My husband has apparently figured out a way to help me without me even realizing it because after this weekend away, I am in awe of him and how we work as a team- and I didn't even realize it! But, that realization also comes with a downside for me. I had to ask my parents for help way more often than I wanted. I am embarrassed that I couldn't handle it all on my own. They watched the boys this morning while I went to work on the makeup for the play and when I came back my mother had done the dishes, made chicken soup, Lucas was playing with my father and Ben was napping. Cue internal meltdown. Why couldn't I accomplish this?
     No real answer here, just a stream of thoughts. I had to come back to this post this morning because both boys had a bad night of sleep and I am not quite sure where I was going with it. I guess I'll take the high road- my boys are fed, clothed and happy (Lucas is in that weird toddler-smile phase) and I am relatively clean. Good job team!